Change

I agree with you Kalabecca, people have the hardest time changing around here. Been thinking over the last 8 years about it, and change can only come through one person at a time. While I don't know if anything I've said or tried to teach in the schools here has made a difference, I have to believe that it at least made a difference in me. So I keep putting it out there, hoping that something sticks or at least makes someone think.

Trust seems to be the big issue with everyone, not just the community I live in. If I ever give up on trusting you might as well pick out something black to wear on your next visit to me. I don't think we trust ourselves and thats why we have all these crazy coping mechanisms in our lives. If we have to be right its because we feel inadequate. If we have to be better than everyone else, its because we don't feel good enough. I we have to get one over on the world, its because we feel vulnerable all the time. You get the point. In the end its all about finding a place in ourselves that makes us happy, preferably with someone who can be happy with us.

JB and I marvel at our relationship, but its so good because we let each other be ourselves. Now if I can accomplish that with other people, then I have a start to my "Eutopia Community". I met a woman tonight who immediately sized me up in a very defensive and aggressive way. The only thing I can think was that she was existing in a state of fear that causes her to be on the attack. I pictured us out there in the middle of the field squawking around like a couple of roosters and had to laugh. I ended up not responding to it at all and she deflated and walked away. Maybe next time we meet, she'll try a different approach.

Thanks for all the responses, makes me feel like I'm talking to more than just myself!

Cat